Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy.

I lifted 290 lbs on the calf machine! And I could have lifted even more! New machine, so I'm taking it slow. :-)

Sewing the tongue of your tennis shoe (using dental floss) to the inside of the shoe keeps the tongue from sliding to the outside.

Millions long for immortality. Most don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Napoleon’s HR Rules:
Smart + Industrious = Golden
Smart + Lazy = Good Generals
Stupid + Industrious = Get rid of at all cost!

Man is the only asynchronous heuristically programmed computer which can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

Booked a Dr. Seuss Show gig for March, 2011. So far I've got performances in Jan., Feb. and now March! Who wants me for April? :-)

Life's not fair. That's why we should be.

Came up with a life-improving reality show idea for Area 51 Productions. The Boss is interested in me hosting. Sweet!

Just because your doctor has a name for it doesn't mean he knows what it is....unless you're House.

For those who lost someone on 9/11, my thoughts are with you. For those who helped after - THANKS!

It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Rewriting a webisode & performed THE GIVING TREE for my back doc., his wife (never read the book!) and 2 customers. Smiles & applause!

Came up with a fresh idea to make funding more appealing for the WE WERE VAMPIRE website (still under construction). Stay tuned....