Yesterday, a friend called me and said, “I need you to entertain me so I don’t
pass out from a possible concussion.” That’s a new one.
He has a sensitive vagus nerve,
which occasionally results in him passing out. He accidentally hurt his hand
while doing chores, and the pain caused his nerve to flare and he passed out,
smashing face-first into a hard floor. Waking up, with glasses broken, face
hurting, and extremely dizzy, he laid down on his back as sitting or standing
made him dizzy. Laying on the floor with nothing to do, we both figured that
until his mom arrived to take him to the doctor, keeping him awake was
probably a good idea. (It’d also allow me to monitor him, in case he
suddenly stopped sounding coherent or quit responding entirely.)
So I swung into action, located various story-jokes about
cats and dogs on my PC. We laughed and wiped tears from our eyes
until he said it no longer made him dizzy to sit up.
He was fine, but if he hadn’t been, my entertainment could have saved his life!
We got to thinking how much odder things would have been if he had lost
consciousness, because I live in the U.S. and he lives in Canada, so a 911 call
would get me an American emergency dispatch agent. I probably would have
called our mutual friend in Toronto, who could dial 911 and get through to
Canadian Emergency Dispatch. What a call of confusion that would be…
DISPACH: 911. What’s your emergency?
TORONTO FRIEND: My friend might have a concussion and
just lost consciousness.
DISPACH: And what is your location?
TORONTO FRIEND: Well, I’m in Toronto, but my friend is
in Manitoba.
DISPACH: Ma’am we only take serious calls.
TORONTO FRIEND: I am serious! My friend hit his
head when he passed out a few minutes ago.
DISPACH: So you were on the phone with him when he
passed out?
TORONTO FRIEND: No. He was alone. Are you
listening?! He is all by himself, in his apartment, and likely has a
concussion!
DISPACH: Please stay calm Ma’am. So then he
called you from what address? What address did he call you from?
TORONTO FRIEND: He didn’t call me. He called our
friend in the U.S.
DISPACH: So your friend is in the U.S.?
TORONTO FRIEND: No. He’s in Manitoba, but he
called our actress-friend in America to keep him entertained and awake until
his mom could drive him to the doctor!
Need to stay conscious? Give me a call and I’ll keep you laughing until you are safe!
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